Everyone has an opinion on dating, but not everyone has one when it comes to the wheelchair side of things. Most people, let’s be honest, don’t even think about wheelchair-users in the realm of dating, but the truth is that many of us want to date or are currently dating. We too are in need of dating advice.
Fortunately there are a handful of wheelchair-users who love doling it out. They may not be as plentiful as the Dr. Ruth’s of this world, but they’re out there and they’re recording their advice just for you; and w00t, they’ve made some amazing videos.
Straight from the heart advice coming right at ya, here are three unforgettable videos from wheelchair-users on the sticky topic of wheelchair dating.
Video #1: Straightforward tips for those wanting to date us
Our first video comes from the fabulous Sonja D., an outspoken woman with Lupus. In her video simply titled “How to Date Someone in a Wheelchair” she goes over all of the basic things you should and shouldn’t do when dating wheelchair-users, including questions to avoid on a first date.
One of her biggest pieces of advice is letting people know that it’s rude to start off with, “What happened to you?” even if it’s eating at you when first meeting a person in a wheelchair (especially under romantic pretenses). “Never lead with that,” Sonja says, and boy is she dead on right.
And she shares a lot more, from how people in wheelchairs are way more sexually active than most people realize to making sure to not over-help us. It can be annoying. Just wait for us to ask.
Video #2: “Do not push us” and other important dating tips
Our second video comes from Tiffany Post, an incredibly confident 30-something paraplegic from Staten Island, NY, and she has a video series called “Wheelchair Wednesdays” where she gives advice on fashion and dating.
In the weekly video, “So you want to date a woman in a wheelchair?,” she informs her viewers what they should do and shouldn’t do when dating a wheelchair-user as well. From talking about how annoying it is when your date tries to push your wheelchair to when guys approach us calling our legs or wheelchair sexy, she lets the clueless men know what’s up.
Video #3: Young paralyzed man share’s his dating journey
Our third video shows the male perspective side of things and is courtesy of SCI information site, FacingDisability.com. In this brief video Chase, a paraplegic injured when he was 17 back in in 2007, shares the most important dating tip he’s learned since becoming paralyzed – make the first move.
For him, he’s noticed females have been confused whether or not to hit on him, most likely because they’re unsure of what he’s capable of sexually. What he’s discovered works best is just saying hi and introducing yourself. Breaking the ice first is one of the best ways to get the opposite sex less nervous around your wheelchair. Brilliant!
No matter what you do, don’t let your nerves get the best of you, leaving you single longer than you should. People always say and life is too short for yadda yadda yadda….and in the particular case of dating it couldn’t be more true.
Dating needs to be actively pursued in order for success to be had; simple as that. So get out there, forget about your wheelchair and start scheduling those dates.
What dating advice do you have for wheelchair newbies?
Watch the videos!