Back in the day late at night in my dark bedroom, my only solace used to be the light coming from my TV and Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, Canada’s awesome informational sex show hosted by Sue, a lovable retired nurse. Canada has always seemed to produce the best sex shows (anyone remember Bliss?) so I was thrilled when I saw this in the Dating & Sexuality section of SPINALpedia. A few years back she did a review of the IntimateRider, the movable chair that gives men with spinal cord injuries more position options in the bedroom. Watching Sue talk about an adapted sexuality tool in all her Canadian glory made me squee beyond repair.
I’ve known quite a few guys with spinal cord injuries who’ve loved their Intimate Rider, including my friend Bill who’s in this video, talking about how the chair has improved their sex life. He loves the thing! Every guy with a SCI needs to “get back into the swing of things” after their injury if you know what I mean, and this chair makes that happen. There is no other tool I can think of that brings this level of sexual independence to SCI men. Naturally, Sue loved the thing, and she even gave it 4 flaming hot briquettes on her “Hibachi of Love” scale (so you know it’s good).
In regards to having sex after a big life-changing injury, Gary Karp is an expert. He’s a paraplegic and psychologist who specializes in spinal cord injury sexuality and he’s done an entire series of disability videos on sexuality. My personal favorite is his video on guilt and able-bodied partners feeling guilty for having full sensation. Sometimes, when a person with a disability begins a relationship with someone new and their partner is able-bodied, if’s not uncommon for them to sometimes feel guilty, thinking they’re getting more out of it then the person with the disability is…
But if you watch Gary’s 2 minute video you’ll see how he quite beautifully explains how feeling guilty is silly. He says it’s OK to feel that way, but hopefully they’ll see that satisfaction can still be achieved. He also talks about how the person with a disability needs to restructure their top 10 must have’s in bed to figure out what they now enjoy the most after their injury. It you’ve ever wanted to know more about mutual satisfaction when one counterpart is disabled, then this video is a must see.
Watch the videos!
What are your views on spinal cord injury sexuality?